PRELUDE - I know its been a while, very sorry about that. Life never stops turning and many times I have started to write after the girls have gone to bed and I wake up at my desk with what seems like a mile of "d's" or "L's" filling the blog page. This one will be the restart of the life lessons from me to you.
As a dude, I love cars and especially luxury cars. The beautiful lines, the exotic materials that accent the interior of the vehicle, the purr or roar of the engine are intoxication when they all come together to make an automobile that defines "Top-of-the-line." As someone that will (most likely) never own a Porsche, Lamborghini, or Ferrari, I can appreciate the quality and craftsmanship that goes into making one of these machines. Several years ago, one of the shows that Janel and I would watch together was the MTV show "My Super Sweet 16" that followed children of affluent Upper-class parents as they planned their next birthday bash. In almost every episode, the child would ask for, or better worded, tell their parent(s) exactly what high priced vehicle they wanted them to buy as a gift for their birthday. And in every episode, the parent would put up only a brief fight before caving and purchasing the vehicle. At the end of one episode, a teenage girl was given a Lexus sedan with all the options included, and during the credits it was revealed that the girl wrecked the vehicle shortly after the show wrapped. It was obvious from her behavior during the show and from her lack of caution with such a high priced vehicle that she did not appreciate the wonderful things in her life because she had never known anything less than the very best and had never had to labor in order to earn something. Things were always given at her whim and desire, without so much as a mention of the cost or work that went into her parents earning the finances to provide for her.
I, like most middle-class people, have convinced myself that if given only a fraction of what the elite have, that I would treasure it forever. I would like to believe that if given a luxury vehicle that I would keep it in the garage whenever parked at home, I would park in the "north 40" parking spots of the lot in order to prevent doors or carts from bumping or scratching the paint, that only the expensive gas would go in the tank, that I would wash/wax it weekly, and that I would never eat or leave a piece of trash in the car- EVER! But the reality is, over time the appreciation for that car would fane. I would start parking closer, buy cheaper gas, hit up a Starbucks drive-thru, and so on. I would stop fighting to protect and keep the high priced gift that was given to me. Want to know how I know this to be fact? It has already happened to me.
My family, and more specifically, my wife is the most precious gift that has been given to me. To use a sports cliche, I way out kicked my coverage when it comes to marrying Janel. During the time we dated and for the beginning part of the our marriage, I fought hard to keep the "new car" smell going in our relationship. Her thoughts, feelings, and happiness were the most important thing to me. But over time, I let that attention slip. Things like my jobs, my wants, and even our kids to become more important. I began to ignore or not even see the dings, the scratches, the fading shine, and the how the luxury began to wear off because of my selfishness. The marriage did not lose its importance, that is determined by God, I just lost appreciation for it. It was not until recently that I realized that the depreciation was having such a great effect. God placed such an amazing gift in my life at such a early stage - Janel was the first real relationship that I was in - that I just assumed that it would always be there. I had no concept on the labor that was needed in order to earn that gift.
Here is the lesson, Hold tight to those things that are most precious. Protect them, maintain them. Never stop searching for the dings, dents, and scratches that cause the value to lessen. Dont be like the girl on the MTV show that was so use to luxury and, therefore, did not even see it anymore. I know that my behaviors have to change, and they will. Janel has always been important, but I stopped fighting to show her what her real value was to me. It will take a lot of work to restore the luster, to smooth out the dents, but the effort will be worth it in the end. Finely made cars only increase in value if you put in the time and effort to maintain their beauty, those precious things in our lives are the same way.
As 2014 comes to an end, I pray that the story of 2015 is written much differently. If I have anything to say about the writting, it will be! I love her dearly, and will work to prove that until there is no question.
Vroom Vroom.
